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To start a sexting convo, you can ask something as simple as, “I dreamed about you last night, would you like to hear about it? ” Or, “I just took a sexy photo, would you like to see? ” This is not only a great way to gain consent to sext, but build anticipation as well.

Consent and Communication Are Essential

Jennifer Litner, sexologist and founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness, says before you talk dirty to your partner, get their consent. As long as you and your partner enjoy trying out and using dirty talk together, there is no wrong way to go about it. “Say something… hot!” “Um…ah…vulva?” Remember Ross Geller’s wooden dabble with dirty talk in an early episode of Friends? It denotes a deeply ingrained sexual inhibition among men. I sort of fancy Mark Knopfler’s voice, so some Dire Straits songs, like “Fade to Black,” are great.

How To Talk To Your Partner About Your Sexual Fantasies

• Dirty talk can help partners get on the same page by opening each other up to all kinds of discussions around desire.
• These are just a small sample of dirty things that you can say to your guy to turn him and make sex a lot hotter for the both of you.
• After you have talked out the things that you feel are not right for you, always remember that erotic talk should never be used to force anything.

Essentially, provocative language is perceived as sex through suggestion. It satisfies our desire for intimate and vulnerable conversation, as well as a lust for sexual activity in a way that helps partners bond mentally, physically and emotionally. Erotic language provides a multifaceted sexual experience that penetrates beyond physical touch by stimulating our minds.

• “Remember that words we hate in a non-sexual context take on a whole different meaning and feeling in sexual relationships,” says Horn.
• Or maybe you enjoy being called a “slut” during sex, but the request to call you such pulls your partner out of the moment.
• Women, in particular, are often aroused through the imagination.

How to get in the erotic talk zone

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Reminisce about some of your hottest moments with your partner and how you’d like to recreate them. Recalling a night of pleasure is excellent for moments of writer’s block when you want to send a sexy text but can’t think of what to say. By calling up these memories, you’re expressing appreciation and desire for regular sex with your partner, and that’s hot. Describe your mood, your current environment, the feel of your new underwear or sex toy, a sexual fantasy, or your favorite sexual activity. This lets your partner into your world no matter how far away they are. Sexting, the 21st-century version of the classic steamy love letter, is sending sexually explicit messages via text.

If literature and audio aren’t your thing, you can also simply turn to your favorite movies or TV shows for inspiration. Just fast-forward to your favorite sex scenes and pull a few ideas from there to bring into your own dirty talk and play. “Because dirty talk can increase arousal, it can also make an orgasm more intense,” says Buehler. But if the timing does feel right, dirty talk is a great way to increase both your emotional and physical connection.

I do not rely solely on audio erotica, but I definitely do enjoy it. Audio can take you into a whole new world, set the scene. But music is always a nice way to mask sounds for privacy and to keep the energy flowing and moving. “Love Language” by Juls and “Lemonade” by Ria Sean are songs that definitely put me in a mood.